It’s been a while since we had an update featuring this beautiful stoner from Twitter – a bit too long if you ask me. While I can’t confirm or deny it’s because I was waiting for a restraining order to be lifted, I will say she looks a hell of a lot better in high resolution than through a pair of binoculars with at least 100 yards between us. Not that I would ever do that, of course.. I’m just assuming.

A video posted by michelle (@michellebalvs) on Oct 2, 2015 at 4:54pm PDT

If you’ve been visiting GirlsInYogaPants.com for a while you’ll remember the plan I hatched in an attempt to meet this girl. While that plan may have landed me in some trouble, I think I’ve got a new one that is sure to win her over! She’s now working for a company called Top Tier Promoting, which I just hired to promote my new book “How to be less good at pleasing women with your massive dong so they stop orgasming to death in the pile of money you sleep on cause you got that ‘fuck you’ money”. This is called “baiting the hook” or “planting the seed”, for all you non-pickup-artists out there, so now I just gotta sit back and wait. (more…)